How to Stop Tattling and Build Problem-Solvers ~ Ep. 121

How to Handle Tattling in Kindergarten: Teach Problem Solving and Reduce Interruptions

Tattling can quickly take over a kindergarten classroom. Every few minutes, a student is reporting what someone else did, and it can feel exhausting to decide which situations truly need your attention. The good news is that tattling can be dramatically reduced by teaching students how to solve their own problems and helping them understand when it is actually important to come to a teacher.

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Teach Students How to Solve Their Own Problems

The most effective way to reduce tattling is by teaching students how to handle conflicts independently. One of the strongest tools for this is teaching students to use a “bug and a wish“. This simple sentence frame gives students the language they need to express a problem directly to a peer instead of running to an adult. Teach students how to use a “bug and a wish” with the book Bug and a Wish by Karen Scheuer (Amazon Affiliate link).

For example, a student can say, “It bugs me when you take my marker. I wish you would give it back.” This approach empowers students to communicate clearly and respectfully while keeping you out of minor peer conflicts. Teaching this early in the year and practicing it through role play helps students build confidence using it in real situations.

When students know they have words to use to solve problems with peers, they are far less likely to tattle over small issues.

Teach the Size of the Problem

Another important piece of reducing tattling is teaching students how to identify the size of a problem. Small problems are ones students can solve themselves. Medium problems may require talking it out with a peer using a bug and a wish. Big problems are the ones that require adult help, such as safety concerns or someone being hurt.

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When students understand that not every problem needs teacher involvement, they become more thoughtful about when they come to you. This also helps them feel capable and responsible for handling everyday classroom situations.

Help Students Focus on Themselves

A lot of tattling happens when students are focused on what others are doing instead of themselves. Consistently reinforcing the idea that each student is responsible for their own behavior can make a big difference.

Phrases like “You are in charge of you” or “That is not something you need to worry about” help redirect students back to their own work. Over time, students begin to internalize that they do not need to monitor their classmates and that the teacher will handle classroom expectations. This shift in mindset alone can significantly reduce tattling.

Explicitly Teach the Difference Between Tattling and Telling

If tattling continues to be a major issue, an explicit lesson on tattling versus telling may be necessary. Reading a book like A Bad Case of Tattletongue by Julia Cook and creating a class chart can help students visually see the difference.

Telling is about safety or someone being hurt. Tattling is about trying to get someone in trouble for a small issue. Once this chart is established, you can reference it when students come to you and ask, “Is this tattling or telling?” This puts the responsibility back on the student to reflect before speaking.

When You Don’t Know Who to Believe

Sometimes two students blame each other and it is impossible to know what actually happened. In these situations, the goal should be moving forward rather than determining who was right. Encourage flexibility and focus on what should happen next instead of what already happened.

For example, if two students argue about who was first in line, remind them that pushing is not acceptable and that someone needs to be flexible. If no one can be flexible, both students may need to move to the end of the line so the class can move on.

When needed, speak with students privately and talk about trust and honesty. Explain that being truthful helps everyone learn how to do better next time. Sometimes students will open up when the situation feels calmer and less public.

Avoid Solutions That Encourage Tattling

While there are popular classroom trends that encourage students to whisper tattles to an object or write them down, these approaches do not teach problem solving. Instead, they send the message that tattling is acceptable while nothing actually changes.

The focus should always be on teaching students what to do instead of tattling, not giving them another place to tattle.

Teach Problem Solving and See Tattling Decrease

Handling tattling in kindergarten becomes much easier when students are taught how to solve problems, communicate clearly, and understand when adult help is needed. Start with teaching a bug and a wish, reinforce problem size, and consistently redirect students to focus on themselves.

With practice and consistency, tattling will decrease and your classroom will feel calmer and more independent. If you are struggling with specific situations, try revisiting these strategies and giving students more guided practice using them.

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