The biggest complaint that I get from parents at conferences is that their kids don’t talk to them about what they’re doing in school.
~ Zeba from Episode 107 of The Kindergarten Cafe Podcast
Episode Summary
If you’ve ever wondered how to build better communication and trust with your students’ families, this episode is for you. I’m sharing practical, real-life ways to create meaningful partnerships with families beyond just sending home permission slips or scheduling conferences. From quick updates and phone calls to celebrations and caregiver inclusivity, I’ll walk you through the systems and strategies that have helped me build strong, lasting relationships with my students’ caregivers over the years.
In this episode I share:
- How and why I overcommunicate with families (and how it prevents angry emails!)
- Specific examples of what I share through weekly newsletters, emails, and Seesaw
- What I say during tricky phone calls to avoid blame and keep things collaborative
- Ideas for including all kinds of caregivers – not just parents – in classroom life
- Why it’s important to share positive progress and not just problems
- How to invite families in to share their own traditions and celebrations
- The small but powerful language shift that makes all families feel welcome
Related Episodes:
- Meet the Teacher: Setting the Tone for a Positive School Year ~ Ep. 97
- Using Seesaw for Improving Family Communication ~ Ep. 39
Resources:
Connect with Zeba:
- Instagram – @kindergartencafe
- Facebook – @kindergartencafe
- Website – www.kindergartencafe.org
- Tik Tok – @kindergartencafe
Read the Transcript
[0:00] Hey, teacher friends, it’s Zeba from Kindergarten Cafe, and today’s episode, we are talking about how to create a meaningful parent-teacher partnership. And I think we can all agree why it’s important to have a strong relationship with your families, that it’s better for the kids. It’s, it seems obvious, it’s better for the kids. They’re able to learn better. the parents are better able to support what you’re doing at school. When they feel like you view them as a partner in the process of teaching their kids to learn, they are much more willing to work with you or communicate with you or support you with whatever you need. So with all that being said, how do we do that? Let’s dive in.
[0:51] You’re listening to the Kindergarten Cafe Podcast where kindergarten teachers come to learn classroom tested tips and tricks and teaching ideas they can use in their classroom right away I’m Zeba creator and founder of kindergarten cafe and i help kindergarten teachers with everything they need from arrival to dismissal in order to save time, work smarter, not harder, and support students with engaging and purposeful lessons. I’m here to cheer you on through your successes and breakthroughs and offer support and resources so you never have to feel stuck or alone. Ready to start saving time and reducing your stress all while using effective and purposeful lessons that students love? Let’s get started.
[1:42] The first way to build a strong relationship and partnership with your families is to over-communicate. The more communication you can do, the better. And I’ve talked about that before when talking about back-to-school time, but it’s true all year. The more you can communicate, the better. I utilize several different means of communication because what works best for one family might not be best for another.
[2:10] Some families will read everything, some families won’t, and that’s okay. The important thing is that you are putting the information out there if they want to read it. I send quick updates, information, signups, things like that through emails.
[2:25] I send a weekly newsletter home on paper in their folders that has just quick information about what the kids learned that week. And the idea being that families can take that and then use that to talk to their kids at dinner or in the car about what it is they’re learning about. So I purposely don’t go into too many details because I want the families to ask their students about it. I utilize phone calls if things are, if there’s an immediate question about like dismissal or they forgot their water bottle or something like that. But also for if there’s something going on that day that I want the parent to know about. If there was an issue at recess, the kids are acting like themselves, I will call home and I’ll use different apps for communication like Seesaw. I prefer Seesaw because I can share pictures and videos with the families, but also the kids can share pictures and videos with their families that they want to. And I have a whole episode about that, so I’ll link that below. So between all these different ways that I communicate, I regularly am updating families on what their students are learning about. And I hear from our principal all the time that parents of specifically the older grades complain frequently that they have no idea what their kids are learning about.
[3:44] Especially in kindergarten, when the biggest complaint that I get from parents at conferences is that their kids don’t talk to them about what they’re doing in school. And when I tell the parents, as I say, first of all, every parent that’s come in here today has said the same thing, that they don’t tell them what they did that day. So it’s very normal. And it’s, they honestly have a hard time remembering what they’ve done, that there’s studies that show they’ll remember like four hours. So they can remember maybe what they had for lunch, but they can’t remember more beyond that by the time you pick them up from school. Things like that. So that’s why I tell them this. I say that’s why every week I send home the newsletter. I call it the Ask Me About page. I send it home because I want the parents to know exactly what we’re learning about so that they can talk about it with their student, so they can talk about it with their child. And when you can ask more specific questions, you’re able to get better answers. So instead of, I encourage the parents, instead of saying, how was your day? Or what did you do today? Being more specific. Oh, what book did your teacher read today? Or who did you sit with at lunch? Or what did you write about during writing time? What game did you play during mass? More specific things. And when they have more information, oh, I know you learned the letter T this week. They can say, oh, what activities did you do for the letter T?
[5:07] Or they can build off of that on their drive home being like, oh, let’s think of things that start with T. Things like that. In terms of not just communicating like regularly about what the class is doing, I also want to provide regular updates on how students are progressing. So that means not waiting until the scheduled parent-teacher conferences if there is an issue. If I am concerned about a lack of progress or an issue that’s popping up repeatedly, I don’t wait for those conferences, I will ask to schedule a meeting and we’ll talk about it in person. If it’s more of a blip, like, oh, today they got really upset and they hit someone and that’s very out of the ordinary for them, I will call home. And I phrase it as a very clear, this is what happened. There’s no judgment. It’s just this is what happened. This was happening before. This is what happened. This is what we did after. And then I make sure to ask questions because it is a partnership. So I’ll say, you know, can you think of any reason why they might be not feeling themselves today? Do you think they got enough sleep? I noticed that they were rubbing their eyes later. Maybe they’re very tired. I’m not sure. What do you think? Or have you seen this behavior before?
[6:19] Things like that. And then parents aren’t feeling like you’re judging them or the child. They’re really seeing it as a partnership. And same thing for if something happens, something’s minor, like they get pushed down the slide and they were crying. Or something was like physical with the other kids is when I would do this, but I would call home just to let parents know. I want to let you know that at school today another student, never used the child’s name, another student pushed your son down the slide and he wasn’t ready. So he did get his knees get a little scraped up. He was crying, but he was able to feel much better after going to the nurse, he got some ice, and he’s been fine the rest of the day. I just wanted to let you know about it. We did give a consequence to the other student.
[7:06] And all seems well after that. Parents just appreciate getting the heads up about this. It could also just have been an email too. It doesn’t have to be a phone call. Because otherwise the student goes home and they’re like, so-and-so pushed me down the slide. Or I can’t think of another example. But if they go home, they can talk about it in a way that’s, one, way bigger than it actually was. Because that’s maybe how the kid is remembering it. Or two, especially for certain families, like if they hear about it from the child before you, They just start to freak out and then they send you long emails. The goal of over-communicating is to avoid getting emails. You know, they’ll be like, oh, so-and-so said this happened at school. Were you watching and what happened and what was done about it and blah, blah, blah.
[7:50] And it becomes a much bigger thing versus if you just send an email, hey, I want you to let you know he was pushed down the slide, but we made sure to address it and took him to the nurse right away. And he’s been happy ever since. Quick and easy. But then they’re like, oh, thank you so much for letting me know. And that’s it. nine times out of ten it’s dropped parents just really appreciate you reaching out to let them know if they’re not really feeling well even if it’s not enough for the nurse to send them home hey i want to let you know i did send them to the nurse that he didn’t have a fever so he’s here all day but he’s just not quite acting like himself wanted to give you a heads up about that maybe make sure he gets a good night’s sleep tonight and oftentimes they’ll keep him home the next day because he might have been getting sick and now they’re aware of that right now they’re aware to look out for that. And yes, he actually is sick and he needs to stay home.
[8:38] It’s that kind of communicating that really sets a good foundation for a partnership. And we were talking earlier about keeping parents updated on student progress and not waiting to talk to them during conference time. But you also want to have that same sort of attitude when there’s good progress. So I love.
[8:58] Or good notes home or whatever you want to call it. But just a quick little, hey, I did a check-in and they learned 10 extra letters. Or I did a check-in today and now they can count to 21. Yay!
[9:11] Just little bits of progress. Like you want to make sure that you’re not just calling and emailing when things aren’t working well, but you want to call and email or send a note home when things are good especially for the kids that they are always doing the right thing it’s really important to send home the same kind of communication little happy mail for what they’re doing right even if it’s not academic it could be oh i saw so-and-so hold the door for someone today they’re such a kind friend simple quick easy invited someone else to play with them and it really made them feel better when they are feeling sad. Simple, easy. But it means so much to the student, makes them want to keep doing those things. It means so much to the families that they have a glimpse of what’s happening, of the progress their child is making, and they can celebrate the learning at home with them or the progress at home with them or the social-emotional behavior at home with them. And it really makes them feel like a part of the learning, right? And when there are difficult things to talk about, having a basis of talking about the good things too helps them really to trust you, to trust that you are seeing the best in their child and wanting the best for their child.
[10:29] Let’s talk about other ways to keep families involved in their kids learning. Having it an open house, I’m required to do one, but this is a helpful night to give parents information about what their kids will be learning that year. I did talk about a visit day earlier, so I will link to that if you want to listen to that episode. But I might have celebrations in the classroom where they can come in and listen to their kids read or they can share a book that they’ve written, some sort of celebration and end of a unit. The parents love having the opportunity to come in and see that learning happening. I always send home information for ways that families can keep the learning going at home. So I’ll send home my monthly homework bingo boards that are ways to integrate the learning into what they’re already doing, but it’s connected to what we’re learning at school.
[11:19] Like I said, I sent home the Ask Me About newsletter that has, at home, try this, little sections so the kids can continue to practice what we’ve been learning and the parents know exactly how to do it. And then I always welcome families in if they want to come in to read a book for their child’s birthday or if they want to come in for a class party that we have that’s not related to learning but like a winter party or a Valentine’s Day party. I always invite all the families in for those and I make sure that like when they come in they see examples of their students of their child’s work and the other thing that I invite families in to do is to come in and share about a celebration or tradition that they have this is important to me to show all families that they’re valued that their culture is valued but it’s also really important for the kids it is a social studies standard to be able to learn about other holidays and traditions and cultures.
[12:19] And here we are, we have families right in front of us willing to share about their family traditions, their celebrations. So if you have families that celebrate different holidays, invite them in, or even just like I said, family traditions, learn about how they celebrate birthdays or learn about how they celebrate Christmas, whatever it is, even if everyone in your class celebrates Christmas, I bet there’s lots of different traditions around that, right? And so you can invite people in to share about how they celebrate that holiday. But having these days where you invite all the families in can be really helpful to introduce parents to each other as well, because sometimes they’re new to the community.
[12:56] And so getting to know, oh, who might be a good resource for them if they’re looking for ways to get involved in a good community. Maybe they have a room parent they could reach out to, or if they speak a certain language, maybe you can connect them with someone else that speaks the same language so they can have that cultural connection piece too. And that’s why it’s really good to get to know the families and get to know who might need support with what or who might They want to reach out to for play dates even and introducing them at these events is always a good idea. And I’ve been saying parents a lot, but one of the best ways that we can support our families and having a good partnership is not calling them parents, which is what I’ve just been doing this whole episode, but recognizing that a family and the caregiver can be more than just a biological parent. Right. So being inclusive of that in your communication by saying caregivers or families, things like that. Instead of just saying parents, and getting to know your students and families and knowing, okay, even if they have biological parents living with them, maybe their grandparents are more heavily involved in their day-to-day caregiving, right? And or so who should you reach out to when there’s issues, but also being sensitive to the families in your class with family traditions or different events, especially around like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day. Maybe you have students in your class who don’t have a mother or don’t have a father figure.
[14:24] And honestly, I’ve stopped doing Mother’s Day and Father’s Day activities because I’ve had such different experiences. Types of families, that it’s not worth it. But I also do a whole family unit, which we’ll talk about in coming episodes. And it’s important when we are talking about families, different families in the books that we read or activities that we do, that I am showcasing families of all kinds, but especially families that represent the kids in my class and being sensitive to things that. Might be a trigger for them if they’ve lost a parent or something like that.
[15:00] All these tips are ways to have a strong partnership with families. I think the key takeaways that I want you to have are to over-communicate because it will save you from getting annoying emails. So over-communicate, communicate what the kids are learning about, communicate how their progress is and like any abnormalities of the day if that’s happening, if someone pushed them or they’re not feeling quite like themselves. And the other thing about that that I didn’t mention is I do tell families if I’m on the phone call about like, they’re not quite themselves today. You know, feel free if you want to let me know if there’s anything going on that I can help them with. Or because like sometimes they’ll call and be like, what’s really not like themselves? And the parents would be like, oh, I’m on a business trip for five days and they didn’t get to say goodbye to me. So that’s probably why they’re upset. And in my head, I’m like, oh, if you had just told me that, I could have helped the child better when they were upset. Now I understand why they were crying for two hours. So saying to families, if you think it’s important to know if you think it’s going to affect your child, feel free to let me know.
[16:06] That sending an email to me, letting me know something going on in their life doesn’t bother me. It’s actually helpful if something comes up. I even heard, I haven’t done this yet, but I did hear about a teacher this year in my school and she did something like, I forget what it was called now, but it was like extra care or something like that, extra attention needed. And she said, if your child, it could be as simple as like you had a fight on your way out the door and you’re worried about them transitioning to school because you were bickering on your way to school about getting your backpack ready and you had a fight. Or it’s something more complicated, like their grandparent is dying at that exact moment. You don’t have to tell me the details unless you want to. All you have to do is send me an email saying like extra care needed. And I will make sure to give them a little extra love and attention when they come to school to help them transition to school. And so again, it’s that like trust of like, I don’t need to know everything that’s going on in your life. I don’t need you to tell me everything, but it does help me to know when the child might be a little off so that I can better support them. So I like that idea. I might try that. We’ll see. But yes, over-communicate is the key for a successful partnership. Phrasing things as questions and wanting to hear from the parents about their insights is also key. Sharing the learning with them through Seesaw or pictures or videos or progress is really great. And then inviting families in to share about their celebrations and traditions and their traditions, birthdays, all of that are great ways for parents and families, excuse me, for families to feel included and welcome and like you have a strong partnership that will support the student as they are learning and progressing.
If you are interested in more support on building strong partnerships with families, check out my Partnering with Families bundle. It has everything I mentioned volunteer and beyond, all the things I use to have a strong partnership with families. So check that out and then reach out if you have any questions, like always. Thanks so much for listening.
Thanks so much for listening to the Kindergarten Cafe podcast. Be sure to check out the show notes for more information and resources, or just head straight to kindergartencafe.org for all the goodies. If you liked this episode, the best ways to show your support are to subscribe, leave a review, or send it to a friend. I’ll be back next week with even more kindergarten tips. See you then!