Setting Up A Calm Down Corner For Your Classroom ~ Ep. 100

Episode Summary

This episode marks 100(!) episodes of Kindergarten Café, and we’re talking about something every classroom should have: a calm down corner.

I’m walking you through what it is, why it matters, how to set one up (without needing a ton of stuff), and how to introduce it so students actually use it to regulate and not avoid learning or feel punished.

In this episode I share:

• Why this space isn’t a timeout—but a teaching tool for self-regulation
• How to set it up so it’s private and safe
• What to include (and what to skip) to keep it simple and effective
• How I teach students to use it—with modeling, practice, and support
• The trick to managing it without it becoming a reward or a distraction

Resources:

• Social Emotional Learning Strategies Signs, Visuals, and Posters
• Social Emotional Classroom Supplies

Connect with Zeba:

• Instagram – @kindergartencafe
• Facebook – @kindergartencafe
• Website – www.kindergartencafe.org
• Tik Tok – @kindergartencafe

Read the Transcript

[0:00] Hey, teacher friends, it’s Zeba from Kindergarten Cafe, and today I’m talking all about setting up a calm down corner in your classroom, why it’s important, how to set it up, what you need, and how to manage it. So let’s dive in.

[0:20] You’re listening to the Kindergarten Cafe podcast, where kindergarten teachers come to learn classroom-tested tips and tricks and teaching ideas they can use in their classroom right away. I’m Zeba, creator and founder of Kindergarten Cafe, and I help kindergarten teachers with everything they need from arrival to dismissal in order to save time, work smarter, not harder, and support students with engaging and purposeful lessons. I’m here to cheer you on through your successes and breakthroughs, and offer support and resources so you never have to feel stuck or alone. Ready to start saving time and reducing your stress all while using effective and purposeful lessons that students love? Let’s get started.

[1:10] Every single classroom needs a calm down corner. Every single one. It is a really important space for kids to be able to practice their emotional self-regulation. And it’s a really beneficial tool when dealing with these big feelings that kids are having, dealing with any kind of misbehaviors, things like that. It really helps students be able to regain their focus, their emotions, and to help them get back into whatever activity they’re doing where they’re learning. That’s the goal is to get them back to learning. It’s not a timeout space. It is a tool for teaching self-regulation. That’s really important. And it’s helpful when you need to support kids in teaching self-regulation or supporting kids in making better choices. But it’s really vital for kids that need to de-escalate when they’re feeling overwhelmed or angry or anxious. This won’t be every kid that needs this space all the time or that has these really big feelings and needs de-escalation, but when you have a student that needs it, it’s critical to have it. So how do we set it up?

[2:27] First of all, I want to say you don’t really need anything. You just need a cozy little space that you can keep an eye on the kids that are in there, well, kid that’s in there, but you want to have some privacy so the other kids in the class can’t really see what’s going on, can’t watch them because inevitably they’ll have, a child will have a really big reaction, like say, you know, they’ll start screaming or maybe they’ll throw something and I’ll say, take a minute in the control spot and they’ll stomp over there and they’ll be starting to calm down. And then like all the kids in the class are looking at them and they’ll scream, stop looking at me. That happens. If the kids can see them when they’re in there, that will happen when they’re upset. So it’s good to have a space where like other kids can’t see them necessarily, but you can. You want to be able to keep the corner of your eye on them. So for me, I have it in my library, in the corner of the library, just a comfy little chair. And it’s kind of tucked between a bookshelf and a wall. So it’s quiet in there. it’s like opposite of the louder areas of dramatic play or block area.

[3:29] It’s sheltered from like the main area of my classroom or the like the meeting area and definitely when kids are at their tables they can’t see it but if they’re on the rug they can see into it a little bit but like I’m kind of blocking it with my computer table or my chair like where I’m sitting so generally like kids can’t see into it when other kids are in there but it’s just nice and calm in there like I said it’s in the library. There’s a rug in there. But in the actual cozy corner, like there’s so many, by the way, there are so many names for these. Calm down corner, cozy corner. I don’t even know what else, but I call it a control spot. So if I say that in this episode, that’s because that’s my instinct because I tell the students it’s where we go to get our bodies and feelings back in control.

[4:12] That’s the whole goal of it. So that’s why I call it a control spot. But I know that not everyone calls it that. So I’ve been trying to say calm down corner. Anyway, you want to have this cozy corner in the space that’s away from the main part of the classroom where students can feel safe and calm. And like I said, you don’t need anything, but if you want to, you can have like a cushion or like a small mat to make it cozy. You could have some visual aid. So I do have some posters hung up that are related to social emotional lessons we have done. They help the students to recognize their feelings, it’s helpful to have at least an emotional identification chart there because when the kids are really upset, sometimes it’s hard to be able to verbally process and say how they’re feeling. But if you go and check in with them, you can point to it and say, how are you feeling? And they can point to how they’re feeling. And then you can use the words to say, oh, you were feeling sad.

[5:04] I wonder why you’re feeling sad. And maybe they’ll be able to tell you or you can walk them through some self-regulation strategies. And again, you don’t need anything, but you can have some small, simple sensory tools to help calm kids down. Some like stress putty, a fidget toy, like some poppers, a small stuffed animal. What I have is some tools to help with self-regulation and breathing. So I have a glitter jar and I have a breathing ball that they expand to breathe out and they push in to breathe in. Our counselor has also given them a pinwheel. And so they take breaths to move the pinwheel.

[5:47] And I think that’s it. I have a couple of fabrics like you can rub your hand and it makes the fabric change position. It’s I don’t know how to describe it it’s I don’t know if you rub your hand one way it can be like a smiley face rub your hand a different way it can be like a frowny face like it can change depending on how you rub the fabric this sounds weird kids have it on their shirts I’m sure by now you know what I’m talking about anyway you don’t need any of that stuff but you can have it but either way you don’t want to overwhelm them with the amount of stuff you have you don’t want it to be like toys that are in there because you don’t want it to be a place to go for fun like the goal is calming down. The goal is self-regulation. The goal is deep breathing. And you do want the space to be comfortable and inviting because it’s not, like I said, it’s not a timeout. It’s not punishment.

[6:34] After you’ve set up your calm down corner, you need to introduce it to your students. And you want to introduce it the same way that you introduce any part of your classroom. You want to explain why we have it. You want to model how to use it. And you want to give kids a chance to practice it. So when you’re talking about why we have it, you talk about how sometimes we’re feeling upset or maybe we’re having a hard time being safe or following the expectations. And so a teacher might say, go to the control spot. or you might decide that you need to go to the control spot. And if that’s the case, you can go whenever you need it. Or if a teacher asks you to go, you should go right away.

[7:12] And that it’s not a choice. And that when we’re there, the goal is to calm ourselves down. The goal is to get our bodies and brains ready for learning. And so you can go over some of the tools that they can use to help with that. I would slowly introduce the tools. I would use them during social emotional learning. I would use them at morning meeting as like a greeting or an activity to give everyone a chance to practice them. I wouldn’t just put them all out in the area and let them have at it. I would slowly introduce them and let kids practice them because when kids are upset, I talked about this a lot in other episodes, when kids are upset, it’s not the time to teach them new strategies. You want to teach them strategies when they are calm, when they are regulated. Want to give them a chance to practice those strategies of deep breathing and all of that stuff when they are calm and when they are regulated so that when they are upset, they can take the tool and they know what to do with it. But like I said, you don’t need anything because you can just teach them five-finger breathing. I love that tool. That’s where they take out their hand, they run their finger up the pinky and then down the pinky, up the ring finger, down the ring finger, and all five fingers. And each time you run it up the finger, you breathe in. and you run it down the finger, you breathe out. So like I said, they don’t need anything else, To calm down, they have their hands right there. That’s all they need. They just need a quiet, private space to do that. But if you do have tools in there, you want to introduce those explicitly.

[8:36] So when I specifically introduce my calm corner, I introduce it with the glitter jar and I shake the glitter jar and I say, sometimes we get really upset and that’s OK. What happens when we get really upset? We have hard feelings. Our brain kind of looks like this glitter jar.

[8:52] Our ideas and thoughts and feelings and what are called neurons in our brain, they go flying all over the place, just like the glitters doing here. They’re everywhere, spinning and all the things. And it’s hard to see through that. You can’t see through the glitter jar right now. It’s hard to think straight. It’s hard to make a plan. It’s hard to make a good choice.

[9:11] And so what we need to do when we’re feeling like this is we come to our control spot and And we can shake the glitter jar just like our brain is feeling, and then we take deep breaths to calm ourselves down. And I model taking deep breaths, and we watch the glitter settle as I’m taking the deep breaths, or as we’re all taking the deep breaths. And the glitter starts to settle towards the bottom, and I say, see, now you can look through the glitter jar and see through it. Now the glitter is at the bottom, it’s settled, and now we can make a plan, now we can make a good choice. And I just love how the glitter jar is the perfect model for what is happening in their little brains and help explain why when they’re feeling upset it’s really hard for them and how taking deep breaths can help them make decisions and help them calm down and all of that. I also love the glitter jar because it works as a natural self-timer for the kids when they’re in the control spot. They’re upset. They go in there. They shake the glitter jar. They take deep breaths. They calm down, they watch the glitter settle, then they put the glitter dart back, they can go back to learning.

[10:14] It’s like a natural timer for them. And we’ll talk more about managing that in a second. But again, when you’re introducing the calm down corner, you want to make sure that you tell students it is a tool.

[10:25] It is not a toy. We only go one person at a time. We want to respect privacy when people are in there because it’s a place where people are calming down. We’re not talking. We’re not having fun or playing. Like this is a time for us to calm our bodies down. And then I make sure to give every single student the chance to practice being in there like for one minute at a time I go down my list and I just call students to go one after another while they’re doing something else because I want them to have a chance to explore the tools that are in there and sort of play with them a little bit in an exploration way so that when they actually need to go in there they’re not like oh well I get to explore with this tool now. What’s this? Like they’re actually going in there to do what they need to do, which is to calm down. So that’s why I like to have them introduce it, be introduced to it.

[11:14] Explore with it before they actually need it. And when they go practice it, like I’ve had a couple of kids that didn’t even want to go practice because in their mind, I think they had had previous experiences where going somewhere that was a punishment. And so they didn’t want to even go practice it because it felt like a punishment. And so it’s important that everyone gets to practice it to see that it’s not a punishment. It’s a place to go calm down, get ready for learning all that stuff and it sort of demystifies it for them and the other thing about like not making it a punishment is the way you say it like if you’re saying control spot now well that sounds kind of like a punishment but if you’re just saying control spot like no judgment no feelings but just like hey you need a minute in the control spot or you’re feeling really upset or i can see you’re feeling upset take a minute in the control spot or like oh your body is not being safe right now at this activity take a minute in the control spot like it’s not a judgment it’s just saying I want you to go get your body in control that’s it so that is definitely a piece in how to manage it and how to make it not be a punishment some examples of how I send kids to the control spot might also be like if they’re talking on the rug a lot during lessons and I’m saying a lot I might give them a warning I might send them to like there’s a seat a chair nearby instead of like next to their friends.

[12:35] And if that’s still not working, and then I would say you’re really distracting from learning. You’re not ready to be on the rug with us. Take a minute in the control spot, and when your body’s ready to learn, come back to the rug. So that’s how I phrase it. It’s not a punishment. It’s not because they’re talking too much, they’re getting punished. No, it’s that they’re talking so much that they’re not able to learn. They’re taking away the learning from their friends. So just take a minute and get your body ready to learn. That’s the goal of being in school.

[13:00] When you are managing it, if you have sent a kid to the control spot, maybe having some big feelings, you can say to them, like, are you ready to talk about it? And they’ll probably, if they’re still upset, say no. And so just give them some space. Like, keep an eye on them. You can kind of hover nearby, but not in the space. Just, like, keep the corner of your eye on them. But give them space to calm down. Don’t jump right into them.

[13:24] Into their space and trying to talk to them. Like, when they are upset, it’s not the time to talk to them. Let them calm down first. And for the most part you really want to let them decide when they’re ready to join the group again some kids will take their time use it as work avoidance and so then you can definitely tell them like okay just one more minute come back or like one more shake of the glitter jar and come back or like I said if they’re routinely using the control spa in a way to kind of more avoid work and they’re spending too much time in there when you send them to the control spa or when they ask to go to the control spot or when they just go tell them.

[14:01] Okay, just one glitter jar shake and then come on back, right? So it’s quick and then they come on back. They’re not spending too long in there and it’s not like a place to play and have fun and all that stuff. When students do go to the control spot or the calm down corner, you want to praise them, verbally reward them for going. You want to acknowledge their effort and their self-regulation. You were upset. You were really upset and you came to the control spot and you took some deep breaths and now you are so much calmer so I can help you solve this problem I’m so proud of you for going to control spot and calming down things like that not every student will need that I think it’s a good idea to do it for everyone but they’re the students that really struggle with self-regulation and you know outbursts are going to need that praise most of all when they are ready to return to to do the learning, like check in with them. How do you feel now?

[14:55] Do you need help solving a problem? Do you want to talk about it? That kind of stuff, depending on what happened. If it was something where they were being unsafe to other kids or, you know, hurtful with their words, like you definitely do want to talk about it with them and make a plan going forward, but not when they’re upset, only once they’re calm. So to wrap it up, every single classroom needs a calm down corner. Every single one. You don’t need much at all. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be filled with stuff. In fact, the simpler, the better. You want a cozy little spot that’s away from the rest of the group where kids can go to calm down. And it is the perfect tool to use to help kids learn how to self-regulate their emotions. It can also be used when kids are having a hard time doing a certain activity.

[15:42] Being safe with blurting and calling out on their rug too much or like being unkind. Like it is a place that you can use to send kids to if they need to get a minute to calm down, to control themselves, that kind of thing, to reset. But it’s also a place where they can go themselves when they’re feeling really upset or they’re having big feelings. And so it’s a great place if kids are dysregulated, that you can send them there or they can go there themselves and they can calm down without being such a distraction to the other kids, without being dangerous or anything.

[16:16] Like they’re going to a safe space that’s calm in a corner, all that. So I hope you use this information to help you set up your control spot. Send me a message on Instagram with the picture if you have one of what it looks like after, of maybe what you’re calling it, because there’s so many different names for it. And if you want more support for a social emotional, I have lots of support for you. So let me know and I’ll send resources your way.

[16:47] Thanks so much for listening to the Kindergarten Cafe Podcast be sure to check out the show notes for more information and resources or just head straight to kindergartencafe.org for all the goodies if you’ve liked this episode the best ways to show your support are to subscribe leave a review or send it to a friend i’ll be back next week with even more kindergarten tips see you then.