Episode Summary
Social Emotional Learning is so important in our schools today. In this episode, my guest, Sara, a dedicated first-grade teacher, helps us understand the essential role of social-emotional learning (SEL) in the classroom. We discuss the importance of building relationships at the start of the school year and creating a positive environment through consistent routines and strong emotional support.
Sara shares her strategies for fostering belonging and managing emotions in students and introduces her Character Tree program, which teaches valuable character traits through engaging storytelling.
This episode provides insights for teachers aiming to integrate social emotional learning into their teaching practices.
“Sometimes I think that’s, like, my superpower is being able to stay calm, and because on the inside, I’m not feeling calm.”
– Sara ~ Ep. 56 Teaching Character Traits
In this episode, I share:
- Building Relationships in the Classroom
- The Power of Positive Framing
- Introducing the Character Tree
- Integrating Books and Character Traits
- Addressing Big Feelings in the Classroom
- The Importance of Calmness and Relationships
Resources Mentioned:
Connect with Sara:
- Instagram – @theprimarypal
- Website – theprimarypal.com & charactertree.com
Connect with Zeba:
- Instagram – @kindergartencafe
- Facebook – @kindergartencafe
- Website – www.kindergartencafe.org
- Tik Tok – @kindergartencafe
Read the Transcript
Zeba McGibbon [00:00:00]:
Hey everyone, it’s Zeba here from Kindergarten Cafe. And today in the podcast, I am interviewing Sara from the primary pal. We’ve been Instagram friends for a long time now, and so I was really excited to actually meet her via Zoom. Thank you Zoom. And chat with her just about like teaching right now, how it’s going and the big b word that everyone wants to talk about behavior and what we can do about it. Social emotional learning is your little hint. That’s your little preview. So keep listening to my interview with Sara and I know you’re going to get lots of great things out of it.
Zeba McGibbon [00:00:43]:
You’re listening to the kindergarten cafe podcast where kindergarten teachers come to learn classroom tested tips and tricks and teaching ideas they can use in their classroom right away. I’m Zeba, creator and founder of Kindergarten Cafe, and I help kindergarten teachers with everything they need from arrival to dismissal in order to save time, work smarter, not harder, and support students with engaging and purposeful lessons. I’m here to cheer you on through your successes and breakthroughs and offer support and resources so you never have to feel stuck or alone, ready to start saving time and reducing your stress, all while using effective and purposeful lessons that students love. Let’s get started. Hey everyone, it’s Zeba here from Kindergarten Cafe. And today on the podcast, I have a special guest. Sara is here to join me. She is a first grade teacher in Washington.
Sara [00:01:45]:
Yes, the Pacific Northwest in Washington state.
Zeba McGibbon [00:01:48]:
And we’ve been Instagram friends for a long time. But I’m so excited that you’re here and we can have a nice conversation about social emotional development. Character development. You’re an expert on character development, but why don’t you tell everyone a little bit about yourself?
Sara [00:02:01]:
I don’t know if I’m an expert on anything, but I’ve done enough to I’ve been around in education for a long time and I think that by trial and error and just natural passions, I’ve developed some areas where I have more strengths, I guess I would say. But. So this is my 17th year of teaching, which is hard to believe, and I just can’t imagine doing anything else still, even though I’ve had some really tough years, still can’t imagine another profession. So I’m teaching first grade this year, and I’ve spent time teaching kindergarten first and second, although I have to put a big asterisk next to when I say kindergarten because it was only for a year.
Zeba McGibbon [00:02:44]:
Well, awesome. I’ve taught k three as well, but kindergarten’s my favorite. But I did love first grade.
Sara [00:02:49]:
Love my firsties.
Zeba McGibbon [00:02:51]:
They’re still cute and sweet and adorable, and everything’s still new to them, but they can do so much more.
Sara [00:02:58]:
Yes. And my time in kindergarten gave me a full new appreciation for everything that kindergarten teachers do to get them ready for me in first grade. And I made it back up to first grade as fast as I could. That being said, if I ever had the opportunity to loop, knowing that I wouldn’t be. I hate to say it like this, but for me it is. It’d be stuck in kindergarten. If I knew I wouldn’t be stuck in kindergarten, then I would go. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Sara [00:03:25]:
Because there’s something so special about being a child’s first teacher.
Zeba McGibbon [00:03:29]:
Yeah, no, but we all have that grade that we know and love. And, you know, it’s good that we both could be in those grades. Cause I’ve been in grades where I didn’t love it, and it’s good to find our way back.
Sarah [00:03:40]:
Yes, it is.
Zeba McGibbon [00:03:42]:
So, you know, when this is airing, we’re in the fall. We’re in the middle of getting to know the kids, but we’ve already done a lot of, like, routine building and stuff. So I know that you have a lot of awesome ways to build relationships and make sure that, like, every child really has a nice relationship with you and each other. So, want to talk about some of those ways that you do that?
Sara [00:04:01]:
Yeah. I think that when I think about the school year and the foundation of the school year, like so many of us do, it’s that beginning of the school of your time, when we are building those relationships and those routines that really the rest of school year is built on and taking the time and we hear the phrase go slow to go fast, and it’s so cliche, but I really do believe that and taking the time in like all of September, even into October, getting to know the kids and set that groundwork and that foundation for consistent response, consistent routines, consistent, I guess, consistent response to big feelings. So the kids know what to expect from you, I think is such a huge and important part of building a strong classroom community and building those positive relationships and something that I started doing years ago, I wish I was. When I was thinking about this podcast, I don’t actually know who to credit. It may have been my student, my mentor teacher from when I was student teaching her and I maintained a relationship for several years after. I mean, I still keep in touch with her. When I was teaching closer to her, she’d come up and see my room and see me with my kids still. And I think it was around that time when she had given me some advice about framing the.
Sara [00:05:27]:
And I’m crediting her, but it may. It may not have been her, but about framing how I talk to kids about. You are the kind of reader. You were the kind of writer who. You were the kind of mathematician who, in building those positive identities and academics with my kids and catching them not necessarily when they are reading magically, fluently, all the time, but in little approximations of when they’re getting close to those things. Or. You’re the kind of reader who, like.
Zeba McGibbon [00:05:59]:
You’Re the kind of reader who realized they made a mistake and went back to fix it.
Sara [00:06:04]:
Yes. Yes.
Zeba McGibbon [00:06:05]:
Like, it’s not like, hey, you read that whole book amazingly perfect. It was like, no, this is the strategy to be a better reader.
Sara [00:06:13]:
Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:06:14]:
And by framing it as, like, you are the reader who. It builds that identity as a reader.
Sara [00:06:19]:
Exactly. Yeah. And even in their interests. Oh, you’re the kind of writer who likes to write books about things that you’ve done, or you’re the kind of writer who likes to write books about what you know, you kind of remind me of, like, or, like, a specific author, you know? Or, like, you’re the kind of writer who likes to write books about things that have happened in your life. You remind me of Cynthia Ryland. And, you know, and they kind of see that. They internalize, like, oh, I am that kind of a writer. Oh, she thinks of me as somebody who’s a published author.
Sara [00:06:53]:
And so I started doing that with behaviors, too, and, like, whole class kind of, oh, you first graders, you’re the kind of students who are so respectful in the hallway, I noticed that you were walking with quiet speed and with zero voices and so, like, framing and also doing that individually, too. I noticed that you’re the kind of respectful. We’re the cubs at my school. You’re the respect, kind of respectful cub who goes to the bathroom so responsibly and comes right back to not disrupt anybody else’s learning. So framing those sentences and those statements in a way that is positive and that they’re like, she took the time to. I mean, they don’t verbalize this, but, you know, in my mind, I’m thinking, oh, she took the time to notice this about me, and I guess I am that kind of a kid.
Zeba McGibbon [00:07:44]:
I do this, too, where it’s like, saying what it is you want them to be doing, verbalizing what you want them to keep doing, and focusing on the positive of what it is they’re doing. Right. Especially the beginning of the year. Like, that’s all we’re doing, is just saying those things over and over again. I always need to remind myself to continue doing that all year long, but I think you take it a step further with, like, putting that character trait on that noticing.
Sara [00:08:07]:
Yeah. So we. I use. I know we’re going to talk about this, but I use the character tree, which is the character development series that I developed along with my dad and a team of other people that came out of an idea that my dad had. And so in the character tree, we learn about perseverance, bravery, respect, kindness, empathy, integrity, and we learn about those traits all year long. Each week we focus on a different trait. And I’m intentional in the books that I pull throughout the week, and then also in those reminders that I give my kids to use that language, and then the. They end up using it, too and internalizing it as well.
Zeba McGibbon [00:08:48]:
That’s awesome. We can jump into the character tree. I’m curious about, like, where the idea came from.
Sara [00:08:53]:
Yeah. So my dad had the idea initially, and this is probably, probably six years ago now. One day, he walked into my house, and my dad and I have the kind of relationship where he tells me to jump, and I say, how high? And he came into my house, and he’s like, sarah, I want to make you America’s teacher. Like, what?
Zeba McGibbon [00:09:18]:
Such a dad.
Sara [00:09:19]:
What do you have in mind? What are you talking about? So he knows about my instagram, and he had known about it at that time, and I didn’t have the following then that I do now, but he still was invested in that. And I have told my parents and my family all about my teaching career ever since I started my, you know, my kids that I fall in love with year after year, and some of the ones that I want to take home because we all have those kids. And so my sisters and my parents have, the last 17 years, heard endless stories about all of my kids that I fall in love with.
Zeba McGibbon [00:09:53]:
Yes. Thank you, teacher families.
Sara [00:09:55]:
Yes. So my dad had started doing some mentoring for a little boy at a school, and he’d kind of. He’d followed him for, I think it was from second grade all the way to fifth grade. And he started using some of the same language that, and some of the same strategies that I have shared my family throughout the years with. With this boy, just to form the relationship and then also to support him with some academics because he’d go to the school once a week and we had also, just as a family, watched the Mister Rogers documentary that had come out with Tom Hanks at that time. I still think that mister Rogers plays a pivotal role in who I. The person that I became and also the teacher that I am. So that’s the backstory, and that’s how my dad came in to say that I want to make you America’s teacher.
Sara [00:10:43]:
So with all those things in mind, he’s like, I want to make a show for kids that could be kind of like Mister Rogers, but it’s you, Miss Sara, with other puppets. And we will teach kids about character traits and how to build resilience. It’s like, okay, how are we going to do this? So we ended up setting up a green screen in my childhood playroom to make the first episode, like a pilot, I guess, of it. Mind you, this has nothing to do with what my dad’s company does, but he showed it to my dad. Is it? My grandpa started the company, and then my dad has now taken it over. It is an education. They do testing forms. So, like, the bubble sheets that you fill out, it’s not Scantron.
Sara [00:11:31]:
They’re the biggest Orlando, biggest competitor. But my nickname in college was Sara Scantron because of bubble cheese, their apperson forms. So my dad makes those machines and print the forms. So anyways that they’re in education, but not all in this realm. So he brought it to the company and said, what do you guys think about doing this, like, as a side project? So it turns out one of his employees has a little bit of background and set design, and her sister has been involved in set design, so she’s like, I can take on the set design of it. One of his employees, who’s also a friend of mine, she went to cosmetology school and does hair and makeup. So she was like, okay, let’s do Sarah’s hair. Let’s do her makeup.
Sara [00:12:15]:
Let’s make it look professional. And then they all kind of tackled script writing. They reached out to other people, and one of the consultants was Maurice Elias, who works at Rutgers University, and he runs the character development or social emotional character development lab there. So he consulted with us to make some of the scripts in the beginning, and it just kind of happened. That’s how it all unfolded, and then it was a really organic process. My dad started learning about editing. They ended up hiring Rose, who’s become a good friend of mine, who’s in marketing, and she did the cameras. And then the girl, Krista, that does my hair and makeup, she started doing the editing as well.
Sara [00:13:05]:
And so it just became like this really organic production. And I spent a lot of Saturdays filming during the school year, and it was really fun. We filmed 72 episodes, and we have kindergarten and first grade series, and it spans the whole year. And each of the episodes is similarly formatted, where I talk with my best puppet friends about, I break down a character trait and define it, and then I talk about how a prominent figure exemplifies that trait in their own life. For example, we have one episode on Simone Biles.
Zeba McGibbon [00:13:46]:
Oh, nice.
Sara [00:13:46]:
And the character trait of, I believe hers is bravery and Martin Luther King junior and perseverance. Rosa parks in integrity, Jane Goodall unkindness and or Mister Rogers is in there in kindness. So we pair a prominent figure with a trait and then teach kids how those individuals exemplify that trait in their life and then wrap it up by giving examples of how they could exemplify that trait in their own life, too. And it’s kind of a cyclical series. So we introduce each trait and we focus on it for two week periods. So different one episode a week for a two week period and then go to a different trait and then come back and scoop up those traits again later on in the school year. So it’s not like one that being, oh, yeah, you’re kind, now we’re going to move on. We do move on, but it’s all about building, we call it building their own character tree and adding those character traits to their own tree so that they’re the kind of people, and they’re the kind of kids who have, exhibit kindness and have integrity and perseverance and all those things.
Zeba McGibbon [00:14:59]:
Amazing. So you’ve used it for a bunch of years now, I assume.
Sara [00:15:04]:
Yes.
Zeba McGibbon [00:15:05]:
And how do you see the kids responding to it?
Sara [00:15:08]:
Well, it’s interesting because now that I’ve been at this school for, this is my fifth year at a school, but they, so all the kindergarten teachers at my school use it, and then my first grade team uses it. And so it’s kind of funny because I’ve become known as the character teacher. And I’ll see kids in the hallway like, well, where’s Grace Squirrel? And a lot of the other kids will call me Miss Sarah. Like, well, yeah, I am Miss Sarah, but here at school, you call me misses Apperson. I love, I can see that this connection that they have with it firsthand because I’m at the school and they get to see how excited and engaged they are with it. But aside from that, I try to take a step back and think, okay, if I wasn’t here, how, if this wasn’t me as their teacher, as a teacher in the building, how would they be responding to it? And it really, like, they’re so engaged, they’re so invested in the puppets. And seeing one thing we didn’t anticipate that I’ve heard this from a couple of other teachers as well, that use it is that they connect so much with the puppets, and they see themselves in the puppets. And that’s something that I think we kind of had hoped would happen, because we did use puppets, but didn’t quite realize the extent of how much they would really connect with these puppets.
Sara [00:16:25]:
And we made these, like, personalities for each of the puppets. We actually have little bios written up about each of them, so that we kept that in mind when we did the script writing. And they really do seem to connect in that way. And then I’ve had parents tell me, like, my gosh, my child came home and is talking about Rosa Parks and how she had integrity. And so it’s not just, like, the character trait. They’re also learning about historical figures and prominent people in our american history. Or, you know, like, oh, my child came home and they’re talking about Clara Barton, you know, who’s someone that we wouldn’t necessarily ever talk about in school.
Zeba McGibbon [00:17:09]:
Probably at least not in kindergarten or first grade.
Sara [00:17:11]:
No. Yeah. So that’s neat to know that they have that impact. The people that they’re learning about have had that impact, that they’re actually going home and talking about it, too.
Zeba McGibbon [00:17:21]:
That other point of, like, I can identify with this person just like they’re identifying with stuffed animal. Like, I feel like kids, they need that explicit teaching, but they also need that connection because it’s when it’s explicit teaching, like, you need that, but it’s still so abstract to them, and they need the concrete examples, which is why roleplay, like, is so, so good. And, like, using stuffed animals is so good. It’s why I like, for my caring critters book series, like, for Felipe the feeling frog, first one that’s out, and then we’re working on the second one right now.
Sara [00:17:56]:
Yay.
Zeba McGibbon [00:17:58]:
But I’ve used the stories of my kids for, like, eight years, and, like, they have little stuffed animals from that I just bought off Amazon. But, like, they identify with those animals and with those, you know, social emotional skills because they have a character attached to it.
Sara [00:18:13]:
Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:18:13]:
It’s just like, how that’s the best way that little kids learn the social emotional skills.
Sara [00:18:18]:
I feel like it’s going back to your book. I’ve always used picture books in teaching, and I love picture books because they were able to read a book and they can connect with these books. And I feel like the character tree kind of brings that same. It’s like that same tool as a picture book, but it brings it to life in just a different way.
Zeba McGibbon [00:18:38]:
It makes it more explicit.
Sara [00:18:40]:
Yeah. Allowing kids to connect. And then I do follow up each. So each of the episodes, I have a teacher’s guide, and I have suggestions of books that I’ve used to continue to talk about those traits. Actually, I need to add your. I need to add fleebitty feeling frog to one of our episodes that we have on calm down strategies. That’d be a really good one.
Zeba McGibbon [00:19:01]:
That’d be awesome.
Sara [00:19:02]:
Yeah. And also we have several with empathy that talk about identifying feelings. And the Kindergarten series is a little bit different in that it kind of gradually talk about the. So what is empathy? And then what does empathy mean? Like, to me, because kindergarteners are so self. I mean, first graders are, too, but kindergarteners really are just so self. They are self absorbed, mean to me. Yeah. Yeah.
Sara [00:19:27]:
And then we talk about that trait, empathy at school, and then how they could see empathy in the community by the specific community member and then the prominent figure. So the kindergarten ones are definitely more.
Zeba McGibbon [00:19:42]:
Like gradual kind of connecting the dog makes developmental sense.
Sara [00:19:47]:
Yeah. So in each of the episode guides, I have books that I recommend to follow up the conversations of the episodes and follow up the theme of the character trait that’s being developed. So I think that those ongoing conversations with books as well, just to make a connection.
Zeba McGibbon [00:20:05]:
Yeah, I think that’s. It sounds like it’s just super easy for a teacher just to pick up and grab and go and have Miss Sara help them teach.
Sara [00:20:12]:
Yeah, I hope so.
Zeba McGibbon [00:20:14]:
Sometimes it’s like, if you don’t know how, like, you know, like, I know social emotional is important, but I don’t know how to do it. That could be really helpful.
Sara [00:20:22]:
Yeah. Just like a starting block. And I definitely am not America’s teacher. I think my dad wanted me to be, and I never started it thinking, like, okay, yeah, dad, I want to be that. But I do.
Zeba McGibbon [00:20:33]:
You’re like a co teacher, though.
Sara [00:20:34]:
Like a co teacher. I thought about that. Like, how often we would love to just have another teacher in our room. Last year, I had this phenomenal student teacher, and my gosh, I wish I could have her in here all the time. It’d be so amazing. And, like, it’s kind of like I’m like a virtual co teacher in a way.
Zeba McGibbon [00:20:51]:
Well, I just want to, like, go back to at the very beginning, you mentioned something about big feelings, like kids having big feelings. And I wanted to, like, ask you about that because I know I hear a lot from teachers about arise in big feelings in their classrooms. And, like, if you’ve noticed that and, like, how you handle that, I think teachers would love to hear, like, just different strategies.
Sara [00:21:12]:
Yeah, I have noticed that. I would say I’ve noticed more anxiety behaviors. I’ve also teached currently in a completely different demographic than where I started teaching. I started teaching a demographic that was very high, free and reduced and had a lot of kids who had experienced trauma in their life. And this school I’m at now is very different from that. So I think that for me personally, I’ve actually had people ask me recently about how the kids changed.
Zeba McGibbon [00:21:48]:
And, like, well, I get that question all the time.
Sara [00:21:50]:
Yeah. And I think at the heart of it, the kids. Our kids. Right. I think our society has changed and those changes impact our kids. Yeah. Even though when I first started teaching, the pandemic wasn’t even a thought back in 2008, but I had kids who had other traumas in their life. And then post pandemic, I see that the pandemic is a different type of a trauma, but that, for me, I’ve noticed an uptick in anxiety type behaviors.
Sara [00:22:24]:
So how I approach that, and again, I’m not. I don’t view myself as an expert, but some things that have worked for me is one, naming the feeling, and actually, this is, like, exactly like Felipe the feeling frog. But, you know, naming the feeling and then being okay, telling kids okay to have those feelings and then once they know it’s okay to have those feelings, like, yeah, it’s okay to feel frustrated. And when they’re in a more. They’ve come down from those big feelings, then telling, you know, explain to them, it’s not okay to hit, it’s not okay to kick, and it’s not okay to throw things, but it is okay to feel frustrated. And sometimes when I feel frustrated, some of the things that help me are taking deep breaths or taking a walk or going into a quiet spot and drawing a picture. So just trying to have that ongoing dialogue of, it’s okay to have these big feelings and then teaching the replacement behaviors for them instead of the outbursts. It’s not like it happens in a day.
Sara [00:23:34]:
It’s like it happens all year long. And I feel like, a lot of times for us as teachers, we don’t even get to see the fruits of that labor until we don’t personally experience it. Might be the next teacher down the road that gets the benefit of, like, oh, that kid had trouble with self regulation. I wouldn’t have ever known that. Well, yeah, because now they’re able to self regulate. Because they have.
Zeba McGibbon [00:23:58]:
Exactly. I say that all the time, that if someone’s telling you there’s a quick fix for behavior, they’re lying to you, because it’s just. There is no quick fixed. It takes almost the whole year to start to see it, if not, like you said, until the next year that you start. That the teacher starts to see it or the child really takes it in. But I think the key to what you said, too, is you wait until they’re calm to talk about that because when they’re in a heightened state, they’re not taking any information, and that’s not the time to teach kids. I know, we’re like, oh, you’re upset. I want to teach you all these strategies to calm down, but you can’t do that when they’re upset.
Sara [00:24:35]:
No. And I even model that with my. Intentionally model that with my students. I commit with the whole class. There’s times when my teaching style and demeanor is very calm. Soft teachers who use the character tree will see that in my teaching style and the delivery. It’s very, just kind of just level. And if I ever do need to have to raise my voice, which I don’t, it’s like raising my voice is like a.
Sara [00:25:03]:
Like I’m soft, and then, like, you know, I do talk a little bit louder, and then I’ll just say, I’m going to pause for a minute and take a few deep breaths because I’m feeling a little bit frustrated that I’m not able to get attention right away or. Or if there’s something that does happen. We. Last year, there was an incident that happened outside of our classrooms. It wasn’t with any of my students, but it impacted all of us. And I was pretty rattled by. It was a different student, a different grade level, but I was rattled because of how it impacted my students. And so I actually told the kids, like, I’m feeling.
Sara [00:25:40]:
My tummy is feeling tight right now, and my throat kind of feels tight, and I almost feel like I might cry. And I think I just need. I want to talk about this with you guys, but I just need a minute for those feelings to go away, and then we can talk about it. When I’m feeling a little bit better.
Zeba McGibbon [00:25:58]:
That modeling is so important.
Sara [00:26:01]:
Yeah, it’s so important. And I think that if we’re modeling that for them, then they know that it’s okay to be able to identify those things in themselves and be able to do that themselves.
Zeba McGibbon [00:26:13]:
Yeah. And then once you’ve taught those strategies, like, you’re like, I know we learned the flower breathing or the five finger breathing. I’m going to do that right now. Let’s all do that to calm ourselves down. But then when they are upset, you can say, like, try the five finger breathing, because, you know, they know it.
Sara [00:26:28]:
They know it. Yeah. And they’ve learned it already when they were escalated. Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:26:34]:
Do you have a spot where kids can go when they’re feeling, like, upset, like a calm corner?
Sara [00:26:39]:
I do. Well, I moved classrooms this year, but my own classroom, I had a really natural kind of little alcove by my desk, and so my kids would be able to go there, and it was just a really nice natural spot. Cause they were kinda removed from, like, visual stimulus, and it was nice, just kind of calm, quiet spot. And this year, I don’t have as great of a space for that, kind of playing around with different areas in the classroom, but I haven’t found, like, the best calm corner yet. So I do have that space, but it’s a work in progress right now, and that’s.
Zeba McGibbon [00:27:14]:
And we don’t need, like, a whole lot for that space, but just to have a spot that kids know, like, oh, I’m really feeling these big feelings also. Then it adds on to, like, I’m kind of embarrassed because I’m having these big feelings in front of everyone. So a spot where they can go that’s separate, like you said, separate from everyone.
Sara [00:27:30]:
That’s what you mentioned about the embarrassed. I feel like we’ve all had experiences where we have to do room clears, and I am really fortunate that my team and I, we work so closely together, and we all have very similar values in our classrooms with this. But we’ll do surprise read aloud. So if there’s ever a time where I feel like I need to save face for a child and allow them the space to be able to come down and deescalate, then we’ll do a surprise read aloud, and that’s what our kids know it is. They’ll send a book with one of my kid of the day, and they walk down to another classroom, and they go in, and we have a surprise read aloud, and they. They like it. They’re like, oh, surprise. Read aloud time.
Sara [00:28:12]:
Okay. Unfortunately, at that. At the age that we teach, they don’t really notice. I mean, they do notice, but they don’t, like, they know that it’s okay to have big feelings and it doesn’t seem like it impacts them that much. And then I’ll talk to that child and they are de escalated. Like, do you want to talk with the class about this? Or, you know, just to kind of, like I said, save face, but continue to mend that relation or, like, really mend it, but continue to have that relationship so they’re not feeling, like, embarrassed by their actions or, I mean, if they did hurt somebody, then they will need to mend that.
Zeba McGibbon [00:28:46]:
But, yeah, I think, you know, having, like, a plan in place with your team and, like, it’s a part of the school culture, like, is so important to. To be prepared for a case where you might need to evacuate the room with your students or, like, if you’re staying behind, like, sending them ahead. So do you practice that with them when it’s not needed?
Sara [00:29:05]:
I haven’t, but I should. It would be a really great thing to do, to practice it beforehand, but they do know where the other classes are and they’re familiar with other teachers, so it’s not like it’s something that’s, you know, that they’re like, who is this teacher and where are we going?
Zeba McGibbon [00:29:22]:
So what do you say to the kids?
Sara [00:29:23]:
I just. I say, oh, we’re going to have a surprise read aloud right now. That’s a great time for a surprise read aloud.
Zeba McGibbon [00:29:30]:
And you say, go to so and so’s room.
Sara [00:29:32]:
Yeah, go to misses Eccles room. And.
Zeba McGibbon [00:29:34]:
And she just knows, like, if the kids show up, that’s you’re just pausing and doing a read aloud. The same for you if you get a bunch of kids showing up.
Sara [00:29:40]:
Yeah, we usually try to grab a book and send a book, or if we don’t have time to grab a book, then we just communicate to one of the kids. Communicates that, oh, my teacher said we’re having a surprise read aloud.
Zeba McGibbon [00:29:51]:
Yeah. And they can do that.
Sara [00:29:53]:
Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:29:53]:
Yeah. And then they focus on that instead of watching the other student who’s having a really hard time.
Sara [00:29:58]:
Yeah, I think there’s no one answer to do it, and that may not be the best way in some schools or in some classes, but it works for me and for my team and.
Zeba McGibbon [00:30:10]:
Well, if you’re on the same page.
Sara [00:30:12]:
Yeah, that’s key.
Zeba McGibbon [00:30:13]:
And that you are in on the plan and stuff, I guess, for, like, newer teachers. How do you decide to clear the room? Like, how do you decide what qualifies for that? Because that’s tough.
Sara [00:30:21]:
It is tough. I personally think that if there’s physical aggression involved, that that is probably the time or that that’s. That’s actually the only time I’ve done room clears. And especially I’ve had cases where I’ve had a student physically, like, coming after me. And I don’t want other kids to see that because, I mean, we are a little class family, and they. Yeah, that’s really impactful if they’re seeing this other student, their peer, hurting their teacher. So I’ve done that, and I used to teach at a school that actually had an adjoining wall or adjoining doors, which was nice. And so in that case, we were able to just walk right through the kids were able to walk right through the door and go to their class, which is a much more seamless transition.
Sara [00:31:07]:
But, yeah, I’d say the room or the physical aggression piece. And then if there’s not physical aggression, I am really fortunate to have a great, supportive administration team, and we also have sel team. So I personally, and this is just my style, but I like to be a part of supporting that child in the escalation if I’m able to. And so if somebody is able to come and cover with the rest of my kids, I’ll just make a quick phone call and either our school counselor, my dean, or one of the members of the sel team can come and cover, and I’m able to go for a walk with that child. And that’s actually what I would more lean on is, like, being able to calm down. Space in our classroom isn’t effective or isn’t working, or if they just. If they can tell that they’re amping up and they need to be able to just go for a walk, then we will all just say, walk with me. And then we walk together and take some deep breaths and calm.
Sara [00:32:07]:
Calm our bodies down and then come back into the classroom, and then we’ll talk about it later.
Zeba McGibbon [00:32:12]:
Yeah, that’s where. And that’s where knowing the students and having that relationship with them is so important. And, like, it would be better for you to have that calm down moment with them than someone they don’t know as well, because hopefully they have a really good relationship with you. But just taking a walk is such a great strategy for when a kid is really upset and then when you know them, too, you know, like, which questions to ask that are going to, like, bring them down.
Sara [00:32:35]:
Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:32:35]:
You know, or, like, stopping. And even if they’re not ready to, like, answer questions yet, like, you can tell, like, you’ll be like, oh, so are you gonna play basketball after school? They’re. They’re just not answering. Then you could just be like, okay, I’m gonna look for five blue squares. Oh, I see one. Like, do you see any? And, like, they can just point, but, like, they’re focusing then on something else instead of getting more angry.
Sara [00:32:58]:
Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:32:59]:
Frustrated.
Sara [00:32:59]:
And I think that it’s important. I am at a place, I’m at school now where I could have others come in and help with the de escalation. They actually could take the child. And that’s the kind of supportive system that I have. That hasn’t always been the case for me. And so I think that me wanting to be a part of the de escalation actually came out of necessity when I first started teaching, and I didn’t have that support. But I now realize the power of it because I believe that it communicates the child that the unconditional love piece that we want them to know. I love you when you are coming in happy and excited for school.
Sara [00:33:36]:
I love you when you’re frustrated. I love you when you’re having these big feelings and you’re not able to communicate in a. You know, in a healthy way. And I love you even if you tear up the paper or throw books across the classroom or, you know. And I. And I want to be there. I love you so much that I want to help you feel better. I want to help you give help, give you the tools to be able to feel better.
Sara [00:34:02]:
And I just think that that unconditional peace and that consistent response is so important for building that relationship all year long with students. And there are cases that, you know, somebody else may need to deal with a child with a de escalation. But I do think that if I’m able to do that, it shows that, like, you’re not too much for me. I will take you as you are and show up as you are, and let’s work through this together. And not saying, oh, you go down to the office, they’ll deal with you there, because I can’t deal with you. I just think how we approach it is not even the words that we use, but just how we physically show up for our kids is really. It’s really big.
Zeba McGibbon [00:34:46]:
Yeah. Well, it seems like you’re the. I’m just assuming here, you’re the kind of teacher who stays calm, even though it’s probably really hard to stay calm in those moments, but they need that response, and. And it’s. Yeah, it’s how you show up that that’s gonna model for them, too, the strategies for what we’re looking for.
Sara [00:35:03]:
Yeah. This really. This approach came, and this part of who I am as a teacher really did come out of those first six years when I first started teaching in a very different demographic. That’s actually the impetus, really, for, like, how the character tree came to be. And that’s those. Cause when I was talking at the beginning or rambling in the beginning about my family and the conversations I’d have with them, it was all about those kids and how can I show up for them? Stay calm.
Zeba McGibbon [00:35:32]:
Well, especially when they’ve had trauma to deal with. You’re learning their triggers, and it might not always make sense to you, and then you’re learning, like, which strategies can help them. But I think, like, we’ve been talking about, the key is getting them calm, taking that break, stepping away. But then afterward, debriefing with them is key. And I think sometimes teachers in the moment are like, that’s not. You know, we get angry. We’re human.
Sara [00:35:57]:
Like, we’re human. Yeah.
Zeba McGibbon [00:35:58]:
And it feels like you need to have the consequence for when the kids are doing those things. And I get that, but you just have to wait a little bit till they calm down.
Sara [00:36:07]:
And there’s times, I mean, I do have a calm demeanor, and I’m able to, by the grace of God, be able to sometimes, like, how did I manage to stay calm in that situation? Sometimes I think that’s, like, my superpower is being able to stay calm, and because on the inside, I’m not feeling calm. I think it’s a family trait. My sister, she’s a nurse practitioner, and she has said that her patients or families of her patients will talk about and also her colleagues will talk about how calm she stays in these situations. And she’s like, I did that. I am not staying calm. I guess I’m glad that it appears that way. And I’m like, I feel the same way. I think it’s just like our little something with a family trait, I guess.
Zeba McGibbon [00:36:46]:
My awesome coworker, she called it being like a duck. Like, on the top, you’re swimming calm. On the surface, like, you look calm as can be, but underneath, you’re ferociously swimming right. And paddling your legs, but, like, no one can tell that you’re doing that.
Sara [00:37:00]:
I love that analogy. That’s my grandma’s favorite animal, is a duck. So I really love that analogy.
Zeba McGibbon [00:37:06]:
There you go.
Sara [00:37:07]:
Thank you. I’m going to use that name.
Zeba McGibbon [00:37:08]:
We’ll end with that. A great analogy. Sarah, this is such a pleasure to have you on. And I know that teachers are definitely get a lot from this. So where can people find you and, like, anything you want? One last thing you want them to know about you or anything?
Sara [00:37:23]:
Well, they can find me. Probably the best way is Instagram at the primary, pal. I also have a character tree Instagram that I’m not very good at being real consistent with. So it’s hard to do two instagrams. Yeah. Yeah, it is. And you can also email me, Sarah, at the primarypal.com, but Instagram is probably the best way. And yeah, I’d love to hear from people who’ve heard this podcast.
Sara [00:37:49]:
I don’t really have anything else, just that, like I said, I’m not an expert, but hopefully some.
Zeba McGibbon [00:37:55]:
Well, where I’m going to plug for you, where can they find the character tree?
Sara [00:37:59]:
They can find the character tree. Actually, it’s on my, it’s in my TPT store now. And I have. So I have the primarypal.com and also charactertree.com and we transitioned. The character tree used to be a subscription program, and now it’s all on TPT. And teachers can stream it right from TPT for their students.
Zeba McGibbon [00:38:18]:
So easy. Yeah, so easy. Awesome. All right, well, thank you, Sarah. Thank you for being here.
Sara [00:38:23]:
Thank you. This is fun.
Zeba McGibbon [00:38:31]:
Thanks so much for listening to the Kindergarten Cafe podcast. Be sure to check out the show notes for more information and resources, or just head straight to kindergartencafe.org for all the goodies. If you liked this episode, the best ways to show your support are to subscribe, leave a review, or send it to a friend. I’ll be back next week with even more kindergarten tips. See you then.